Unexpected Trips

 

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Over the weekend my family lost our wonderful and amazing grandmother, mother, and mentor. She was an extraordinary woman and represented a strength that often transformed us. While we miss her dearly, we are grateful she is no longer struggling as the road to the end riddled with illness, complications, and overall it was something you wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I will be flying into Los Angeles this week and need to write the eulogy and obituary. It’s the middle of June, summer is around the corner and it’s  blazing (but not humid, thank GOD) in SoCal. This leaves me wondering, what am I going to wear!?

Like my grandma, I’m stubborn. Lupus, pffssh! If I ignore you, you’ll go away, right? Sadly, this inability to recognize what could potentially kill me, is a pretty stupid act of rebellion.  But I did it, for a while at least. A chronic disease isn’t something you can ignore, even if you try, nor should it be. It seems really vain but what I wear, is the first line of defense (well, maybe second after my medication) to prevent Lupus flares. Plus, ignoring her own chronic illness, diabetes, is essentially what my grandmother did and in the end…I don’t think even she would want me to ignore Lupus.

Since I have little time to prepare and this trip is so unexpected, I will mostly be wearing my summer staple of maxi dresses, denim jackets, large brimmed hats, and cardigans and light sweaters to keep my arms covered. Normally, a trip like this would leave me giddy at the thought of packing, yoga on the beach, and even hiking, but given the circumstances I’m hoping I can make it through the coming days at work without breaking down. Even when you know something is inevitable, it still hurts as much as an unexpected punch in the stomach.

 

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2 thoughts on “Unexpected Trips

  1. Jewel, I am so, so sorry to read this. I love hearing stories about your family and I know your grandmother is such a special person to you. I’m only glad she’s no longer in pain, but so very sorry for your loss. Love you lots.

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